85 is not average

Atari’s VP of Sales and Marketing, Nique Fajors has not only forgotten how to spell his real name (Nick Fudger?), but also the fact that the spongy mattress he now sleeps on is made of thick wadges of Ubisoft cash.

Of course Driv3r was a pile of shit, of course it was thrown headfirst out the door before it even had a chance to put its trousers on, and of course that was all Atari’s fault. Sadly, they’ll only own up to their collosal screwup after the franchise has been sold off and pushed out of the realm of their responsibility.

You’d think that 19 million Euros would be enough to make Atari happy, especially given the kinds of diagrams they’re used to looking at in the boardroom.

Games Industry brings us news that the actor once predicted to go so far, Mark Hamill, is to get his second job. The Japanese hit Yakuza, is to be localised for western audiences, and in doing so has ‘attracted’ voice talents sure to help us understand the eastern-ness, and what with GAME scrapping its ‘no-quibbles’ returns policy, let’s hope they are right. A quote follows

“Topping the bill of vocal talent for the western adaptation is veteran actor Michael Madsen, who will voice Shimano, a physically imposing and brutal Yakuza boss. Star Wars legend Mark Hamill will provide the voice of Majima, an insane, violent Yakuza boss with a twisted sense of honour.

Other stars lending their voices to the game - which has already been a huge hit in Japan - include Smallville’s Michael Rosenbaum, Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Eliza Dushku and Rachel Leigh Cook, the heroine of geek-to-chic teen flick She’s All That.”

Read the rest here.

Rants concerning women in gaming (not to be confused with girls in gaming) are numerous when one looks. However ones that actually use the words we all use in our heads are few. This man braves a new teritory, and if he survives with his balls intact, man even father children. If I said some of this stuff in front of my female friends that play games, I wouldn’t keep my balls very long. There are several following updates from the initial page, emphasising his case, be sure to read them. The following is an sample:

But funny thing - most of them actually do attract sponsors. Here is why;

They have vaginas. They have asses. They have tits. They have mouths.

Initial post: here. Follow up 1: here. Follow up 2: here.

Chances are you are/have already read this, however I must make it clear that you are to consume it now with all you brain. Begin. Way Of The Rodent: Issue 72

Exceptional Outrun: Coast 2 Coast rant on UKResistance, here.

Verbally devistate you foes with a Platronics xbox live headset. Read the news on kotaku here.

Oblivian is not immune to a little hot coffee of its own: Read more.